Department of Homeland Security Agent Murkowski: Where are you going today?
Me: To Princeton University, to give a paper.
Murkowski: A paper?
Me: A lecture.
Murkowski: What on?
Me: The existence of the external world.
Murkowski: So does it exist?
Me: I don't think so, no.
Murkowski: Well have a good trip, then.
Department of Homeland Security Agent Samuels: Where are you headed today?
Me: To a conference.
Samuels: What kind of conference?
Me: A philosophy conference.
Samuels: A philosophy conference, huh?
Samuels: So you're like a "philosopher-king"?
Me: Except for the "king" part.